What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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