I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
