so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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