If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
