She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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