I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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