He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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