Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
