the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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