Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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