I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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