Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry textpirate hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

Fav 45 1819 5370
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

Fav 17 763 2679
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

Fav 7 1742 4456
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday

(1-646): View more from New York

mom would be proud

Fav 24 4531 1305
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.

Fav 6 3099 1150
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me you're kidding.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.

Fav 8 1144 3120
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

Fav 7 2316 906
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me

Fav 9 983 571
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.

Fav 0 68 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT