why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
