I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
