Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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