That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
