im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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