I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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