I wanna passion pit in your ass
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize