everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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