Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Say something about gay babies.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
