Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
