Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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