it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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