dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
