I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
