Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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