Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
