your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How external is "for external use only"?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
