Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
