In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize