i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
