Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
