good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize