I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
