Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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