i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
