Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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