we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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