Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize