Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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