you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
