wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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