I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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