It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
