STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
