I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
