What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
