she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
