You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
