Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
