You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
