I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
