Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
