i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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