Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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