Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
