So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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