I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
