"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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