dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
