Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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