Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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