Please, let me fuck your mom
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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